Friday, May 30, 2008


Today is T minus two days and counting. Wait, I think that should be “T plus two days and counting.” Our baby, our son, was due to be born two days ago, on May 28, 2008. Already I have questions about the paternity, as I’m pretty sure my kid would have been punctual. But then his mom is usually on time, too, so maybe he doesn’t belong to either one of us. Maybe she’s not even really pregnant.

But that doesn’t seem right. If that writhing, shifting mass in her belly isn’t a baby, well, we're in trouble. Besides, everyone has told us that first babies are always late. Except that everyone's also told us that boys are always early. That’s been the most amazing thing about the first 40 weeks and two days of this journey; the never ending stream of conflicting advice.

“Your wife should have an all natural delivery.”
“When she gets to the hospital and they ask for her name, tell them “Her name is epidural.”

“She has to breast feed.”
“You’ll both be better off with a bottle-fed baby.”

“You’re going to love him more than you can imagine from the second he’s born.”
“Don’t feel bad if you’re not overwhelmed with feelings of love when you first meet him. You might even be grossed out.”

“Boys are so much harder than girls.”
“Boys are so much easier than girls.”

“You should play soothing sounds to lull him to sleep.”
“Put him to bed with no noise or light – maybe even in one of the deprivation chambers -- so he becomes a good sleeper.”

And on and on and on.

While it may sound like I’m fed up with all that advice, nothing could be further from the truth. I’ve relished every word, whether from family and friends, or in print, or online, or from a book. Which is why I’m finally putting my toe in the blogosphere: I’m here to share what I learn as a First Time Father over the next days, weeks, months, and if I can stay focused, years. I’ll stay anonymous, but will happily engage in dialogue with any other FTFs (or second time fathers or ninth time mothers or grandparents or single people or whoever) that want to talk about what all this crazieness means.

Next stop for FTM and me: More waiting. We’re giving this birth thing until Monday, and then we might give the guy a little chemical nudge. Stay tuned….


Manager Mom said...

I have but one piece of advice to offer.

Ignore Ye All Advice Offered.

Especially from foulmouthed Moms such as myself.

Welcome to the virtual neighborhood! You're gonna love it here.

Anonymous said...

FTF - you're quite the insightful wordsmith. Enjoyed your musings and look forward to more of same. Good luck to you and the missus. STG

Anonymous said...

FTF, your writing is sensational. I felt like I was reading "Marley & Me", but it was "First Baby & Me". You write with intelligence and wit in just the right combination. I look forward to more. Publish your blog at the end of this journey and have a best seller! Good luck. 2ndTGM

Always Home and Uncool said...

The only piece of parenting advice I ever got worth repeating was:

Never panic.

So just don't.