Waiting

Today is T minus two days and counting. Wait, I think that should be “T plus two days and counting.” Our baby, our son, was due to be born two days ago, on May 28, 2008. Already I have questions about the paternity, as I’m pretty sure my kid would have been punctual. But then his mom is usually on time, too, so maybe he doesn’t belong to either one of us. Maybe she’s not even really pregnant.

But that doesn’t seem right. If that writhing, shifting mass in her belly isn’t a baby, well, we're in trouble. Besides, everyone has told us that first babies are always late. Except that everyone's also told us that boys are always early. That’s been the most amazing thing about the first 40 weeks and two days of this journey; the never ending stream of conflicting advice.

“Your wife should have an all natural delivery.”
“When she gets to the hospital and they ask for her name, tell them “Her name is epidural.”

“She has to breast feed.”
“You’ll both be better off with a bottle-fed baby.”

“You’re going to love him more than you can imagine from the second he’s born.”
“Don’t feel bad if you’re not overwhelmed with feelings of love when you first meet him. You might even be grossed out.”

“Boys are so much harder than girls.”
“Boys are so much easier than girls.”

“You should play soothing sounds to lull him to sleep.”
“Put him to bed with no noise or light – maybe even in one of the deprivation chambers -- so he becomes a good sleeper.”

And on and on and on.

While it may sound like I’m fed up with all that advice, nothing could be further from the truth. I’ve relished every word, whether from family and friends, or in print, or online, or from a book. Which is why I’m finally putting my toe in the blogosphere: I’m here to share what I learn as a First Time Father over the next days, weeks, months, and if I can stay focused, years. I’ll stay anonymous, but will happily engage in dialogue with any other FTFs (or second time fathers or ninth time mothers or grandparents or single people or whoever) that want to talk about what all this crazieness means.

Next stop for FTM and me: More waiting. We’re giving this birth thing until Monday, and then we might give the guy a little chemical nudge. Stay tuned….