Back in the Saddle

What’s that sound? Is that the tap-tap-tap of a keyboard?

What’s that eerie light? Is it the soft beige glow of a blog resurrected?

Just what the hell is going on around here?

If you guessed that the First Time Father is back, you’re right! Give yourself a cigar. (If you don’t smoke, give yourself a chocolate cigar.)

So what force of nature was potent enough to drag the FTF away from his tumbler of cognac, convince him to turn off yet another Two and a Half Men rerun, and prompt him to revisit the blogosphere? The answer is that the FTF needs money, and this blog is a freakin’ gold mine. Either that or he’s about to become a Second Time Father.

That’s right, in less than four weeks time, the FTF is slated to magically transform into the STF.

Allow me to anticipate your next question:

“What the hell were you thinking?”

I have no idea.

After slogging through two years of infancy and toddlerhood, the FTM (First Time Mother) and I are finally at a place where the FTS (First Time Son) is sleeping until 8 a.m. each morning, going to bed at 8 p.m. each night, and is a pleasure every minute in between. He talks, he walks, he makes us laugh. He can clean up his own toys, sleeps in a big boy bed, and watches movies (Cars, Toy Story) that we can enjoy too. Life is good. Damn good.

And yet, with full knowledge of our actions, we’ve elected to blow it all to hell. In less than a month we’re going to introduce a wailing, puking, pooping, sleep-deprivation machine into our happy home. In other words, a baby.

Allow me to now anticipate your next question:

“Uh, dude, what the hell were you thinking?”

We were thinking of the FTS. Truth is, both the FTM and I have siblings, and those relationships are among the most important in our lives. We simply wanted the FTS to have that same experience.

Of course now that I’ve gone back and read all of the earlier posts on this blog -- about health scares, burping, sleeping, and more -- I can’t deny at least a tiny bit of buyer’s remorse. But it’s too late. The die is cast.

The STS (Second Time Son) is scheduled to arrive via planned C-section on Monday, November 1, which also just happens to be the FTM’s birthday. We’re preparing our home and preparing our son for the special day, and now that it’s almost here, I find myself needing to collect my thoughts. Hence the return to this blog.

I set out with the same agenda I had the first time: To provide other parents – and more importantly, would-be parents – with a glimpse into the life of a First and now Second Time Father. Hopefully you can learn from my mistakes.

I’m back, baby, I’m back.

Next up, a few words about the miracle of pregnancy.